Solutions to Stop Feeling a Failure

Much of the results we get in life depends on our internal dialogue, by that I mean the dialogue that takes place in our thoughts when we deliberate and analyze what happens in our lives. When we face a difficult situation, we suffer a relapse, or things just are not going well, our mind evaluates these situations wondering , “What does this mean to me going on ?”, “Why me this happening to me?” “What should I do and how I respond to this?” these are questions that our mind becomes.

So if after suffering a defeat, even though it was very small, you ask: “Why is it my all goes wrong?” Or “why is that bad luck always pursues me?”, Then, What kind of answers you get to these questions ?, what kind of answers you can give your own mind ?. To be honest, these questions are exaggerations and do not represent reality, because not everything goes wrong, that’s impossible. And in the same way, say that bad luck always chasing you, is not only exaggerated but perhaps a little paranoid , do not you think ?.

Then, as the questions you mentally you do not make much sense or respond to reality, the answers yourself you will not make much sense. Should not surprising if you ask yourself : “Why is it that things never leave me good?” And the answer that your mind gives you is: “That happens to you because you’re useless , ” or “That’s because you’re lower others “,  do you see all this nonsense cobra?

The same happens when you get other questions like ? “Why is it that this always happens to me” or “Why is it that I never appreciated” or why be so fat “,” why I can not get friends? “, and all these questions are variations from that big question that we like to much that is: ” Why me “, ie ” poor little me “.

Now I want to ask you something, how do you think all these questions that affect your attitude ?, give you some idea of ​​how to solve your problem ?, urge you to take control of the situation? or conversely, do you make them feel more helpless ?.

Then friend / a, what I ask is to start changing the kinds of questions you ask yourself, because that is where the fault is not in your environment or your value as a person, but in the questions that you came you doing. If you make yourself better questions, you get better answers.

Make sure your questions will be aimed at finding the resources that are already within you, and can help you solve any situation you’re facing.

Consider an example:

On the question: “Do I have what it takes to succeed in life” if you analyze this question well see that implies a sense of doubt and insecurity about your own potential, given as a fact that the skills you need to succeed and achieve what you want, not within you. And what is the result ?, is as follows:

If you ask with doubt, just you get answers to justify that doubt

Then ask questions that strengthen you, did things are not going as you want? then ask: “What can I learn from these falls?”, “how I can use these failures to better see the path that will lead me to where I want ?,” what can I get from this situation to become a better person “? . Any of these questions will allow you to learn, grow and improve, rather than ask you something so empty and harmful as “why is it my all goes wrong?”. The choice is yours.

Are you going to use your internal dialogue to create limitations in your life or to create opportunities?

A hug,

Elias Berntsson

Source: Dr. Camilo Cruz – camilocruz.com