Then we will see how forgiveness really frees and relaxes people, Dr. Fred Luskin, director of Stanford University “Forgivensess Projects” study for years forgiveness in populations around the world, and the effects that condition wounds of the past hundreds of people. A written many books best sellers and has taught about forgiveness in the last 17 years.
These nine steps are educational in nature, almost anyone can learn to forgive. And you can also learn to put aside grudges or complaints and move to a significantly happier and less stressful life by using these tools proven in research:
1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and was able to talk about it.
And then, tell someone you trust about your experience.
2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel good.
Forgiveness is for you free of all mental limitations, be it for you and nobody else.
3. You should know that forgiveness does not mean necessarily reconciled with the person who hurt you, or condoning their behavior.
What you’re looking for peace. Forgiveness can be defined as “peace and understanding that comes after stop blaming everyone who has hurt you, taking the experience of life in a less personal way, and changing the stories of past grudge health.
4. Get the right perspective on what is happening.
Recognize that your primary distress comes from feelings of pain and physical discomfort pessimistic thoughts that are suffering now, not two minutes or ten years ago what offended you or hurt ago. Forgiveness helps heal those hurt feelings.
5. Control your stress.
At the moment you feel upset, practice a simple technique to manage stress and relieve anger response of your body. This technique can be sit back on a couch, close your eyes, spread your hands and do 5 deep breaths and say to yourself: “I choose to be happy in any circumstance, God is in control of my life.”
6. Stop expecting something from others.
It recognizes the “unenforceable rules” that you impose to feel good, or how you as others should behave. Remind yourself that you hope for love to come, health, peace and prosperity, and they come for your daily work.
7. Put your energy into looking for another way to achieve your goals, rather than get them through what hurt you.
Instead of mentally play your pain, looking for new ways to get what you want.
8. Remember that a life well lived is the best revenge.
Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, wanting revenge, giving the person who caused the pain all the power and your energy that way, he learns to find love. Love is the only thing that can heal you, there is no other way , this does not mean that you should love and be next to the person who hurt you, it means to forgive, bless it and make your life, and thus so are free. Learn to look for love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness means personal power.
9. Amendment your grievance story by choosing the heroic power of forgiveness.
This practice forgiveness shown to reduce anger, reduces the wounds of depression and stress, and leads to a greater sense of hope, peace, compassion and increases self confidence.
Practice forgiveness, this will lead to healthy relationships and physical health. It also influences our attitude, which opens the heart to goodness, beauty and love.
(Source: Dr. Fred Luskin – www.mindbodygreen.com)