7 Steps to manage pain after a breakup couple
Today I have the joy of sharing with you this article by Salome Gonzalo, friend, coach and expert in Emotional Management, Leadership conscious and Relationships. If you are going through a situation of rupture couple, I feel will be very useful your article. I invite you to read it and share it with that person that you know he will come good read.
Break a relationship in which we have shared and delivered part of us is painful; It can be very painful and can suffer greatly.
A break is a “death” of a relationship; It is something we unconsciously connects with our own death. Actually, if we transcend this death; We give rise to a new life; a new life experience; because the reality is you’re still alive or alive and your decision and how afrontes this break will depend how is your life from now.
Want to stay stagnant / ay die with the relationship? Or do you want to turn the experience into something you “contribution”?
Is a universal law that “there is no loss no gain”.
It’s time to reclaim your life purpose; to take care of yourself and open yourself to new possibilities that life will put you ahead, as long as you are prepared and open to it.
Before all that will be essential you face the emotion of pain that is causing the break you; It will be the first step to transcend the experience and emerge into a new life.
We have learned to classify emotions into good and bad. All emotions are the engine of our life; they are the ones that make us feel alive and every emotion is giving us information and have a positive intention.
We have to ally ourselves with our emotions and serve them instead of repressing them or ignore them.
Thus understood, the emotion of pain after an emotional separation is the logical consequence of that process.
But how we manage that pain will depend on us out renewed, strengthened and wiser; or we stay paralyzed and blocked, even the rest of our lives .
The solution is not to circumvent it, mask it or deny it. That is harmful, false and unnatural. The most important thing for our mental health is consistent with our emotion.
Nor is the way to go in that emotion any longer than necessary, because then “will chronicle” the situation and pass the pain to suffering or victimhood and that it is a state we have created and in which we can spend “addictively” long .
Summarizing here; the pain is a natural emotion that we have to accept, manage and let out; and the suffering and victimhood is a state which can be reached if not properly process the pain; denying it , not letting it out, or reliving unnecessary and fruitlessly over and over again.
As an expert in emotional management, I will summarize in 7 steps how to proceed when we are feeling the emotion of pain, to transcend it.
It is essential that we leave out in full force. You feel it is necessary thoroughly to be released; but I do not repeat it and live it and haunt him again and again; because if you do not have the opposite effect, rather than releasing it will strengthen it.
When we faced with the emotional pain it dissipates; We blocked or when we cover the way it increases.
Imagine the pain like a black cloud passing through your body and goes to the ground through your feet.
1. CONTACTAR.- be aware that you have emotions and welcome them instead of trying to suppress them so they do not bother.
Find a quiet place where you can contact your interior. Close your eyes, focus on your breathing and what you are feeling; No judgment. Do not analyze. feel; Limit yourself to feel.
2. THE FEELING IN THE BODY. WHAT I feel; HOW sorry; WHERE sorry. If it is pleasant, annoying, if you have a temperature, texture, if it moves … Locate your emotion in a particular part of your physical body. (Emotions are manifested in the body). Let yourself soak emotion, it’s time to feel it in all its intensity.
3. IDENTIFY WHAT IS ATTACHED .- While you feel that emotion in all its intensity in your body, see if you bring memories or memories of something or someone (if it is related to the past, present or future anticipation); and strive to realize the thoughts that accompany those feelings. See if you leads to a scene or moment in your past. ( it is likely that this pain I have felt longer, and you activate some memory or memory of your childhood past).
4. Put a concrete PUT words.- what you’re feeling name. This makes it describe and delimitemos and can talk about emotion.
5. THAT THE EMOCIÓN.- ME SAYING Listen to the excitement. All emotions are a call to action; an emotion is telling us we have to make a move; all emotions are loaded with information and have a “why”; you are telling us something; (for example if I’m feeling angry, realize what situation has triggered the anger) give me space and time to learn what SAYING THE THRILL ME. What’s behind that anger? Who I am really angry / a?
6.- make sense; NEW PERSPECTIVA.- not only important to feel emotions, but we give them a new sense; we find out really what is the real intention of that emotion; specifically what you are telling me. (When dealing with emotions from the past, in addition to the emotional burden off the power to give a new narrative, meaning, it allows us to transcend them and integrate learning enclosing). I leave a link to one of my articles where I talk about: Pain to consciousness after a breakup.
7. DECISIONS AND TAKE ACTION . When we attend a thrill it changes because we mobilized; On the contrary if we block, we are going to intensify. When we discovered the concrete message that emotion, I can make concrete decisions and design an action plan to transcend that situation; overcome it and change my reality .
” Emotion is the main source of conscious processes. There can be no transformation of darkness into light and of apathy in movement without emotion. “Carl G.Jung
I fervently hope that all this can be of help in your process; However if you feel you can not afford not only hesitate to ask for specialized help. It is a time of great vulnerability and confusion. Mend a broken heart requires a lot of love, wisdom and patience.
No person or situation that arises in our lives is the result of chance; everything is causality. If you do not want to repeat the same experiences and seek to advance and grow it is necessary to stand in the way and make a deeper analysis of all lived and what our responsibilities and contributions in this experience.
Make the decision to make your process the wisest way possible and I assure you that go forth strengthened / ay ready / a to start a new life, a new chance. Giving back to love again is never an option; but the first decision that is from love yourself. He decides to do things the way that is best for you. He decides to take care of yourself and looking for all the help it needs. There is no better investment in yourself, your growth and happiness.
Salome Gonzalo Coach is an expert in emotional management, Conscious Leadership and Relationships. She graduated in law Therapist EFT (Emotional Freedom Tecniques); emotional freedom technique and training in clinical practice of transpersonal psychology. Thanks to his wisdom and experience helps people manage change and lead their existence to have fuller and happier lives.
Salome makes coaching sessions in person or via Skype, which provides powerful tools to make a “quantum leap” in your life; to free the mind of unconscious programs, blockades and beliefs that cause us pain and unhappiness and limit our lives so we can express our true essence; live from within.
If you want to improve any aspect of your life; improve the relationship and knowledge of yourself and your relationships with others; understand the mechanism of relationships and your unconscious patterns to free them; learn new skills to interact and communicate; if you seek out the suffering of a breakup, become your best version, and a quantum leap in your life do not hesitate to contact her , her email is: [email protected] .
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