Perfectionist people suffer a lot, imagine perfectionist girl who takes a long time to get ready, care, change, do not know what to wear. Or people that if he does not get one thing right hours passed until perfect forgetting to eat and enjoy the day … Some people also is a perfectionist with others, and there are people who feel required by others.

Let’s do a test to see if we perfectionists or not:

1. When I start something I’m very worried wrong?

2. Do I have lofty goals difficult to achieve?

3. When I do something I can not relax until you get it right?

4. If I make a mistake I feel that everything is spoiled?

If you answered more than one if you’re a perfectionist. The perfectionist has a basic belief that is “If I do come out perfect excellent” I mean that perfectionism excellence and excellence is very different perfectionism is associated.

The most frequent ideas in the mind of a perfectionist are “If I do perfect I loved” Often the perfectionist puts in achieving the result or love or affection. That is to say , “If I do well valgus and if I’m worth going to love me” So what is at stake is not only achieve something good but actually the secondary prize is love or affection of others.

Perfectionism is learned at home, sometimes you learn to have anxious parents, also learn by imitation. And what happens perfectionist is looking the goal and think you have to get perfectly without any complications along the way. Nothing forward and backward, two steps forward and two back.

It has the illusion that everything has to go perfectly fine and there is one of the great fears of perfectionist who is “error”. This means that the error is a terrible thing that makes you think back, do not understand it as an opportunity to see more clearly the way to go. And the mistake we really closer to the goal, learning is made clear from successes and mistakes.

To leave perfectionism and increase your self – esteem you have to see that mistakes are part of life , and meditate on certain beliefs we have and do not make us good like: “If I do perfect loved me” or “If you I perfect it “ is another false belief, ie if it is not well done things do not work.

Another belief is “If I do not have peace mistakes” And these high and unrealistic goals makes one end frustrated. If you think that you were wrong and set a goal to see what things you did well.

When the error paralyzes us then we enter the path of perfectionism , but when the error is part of the learning process and growth then enjoy what we do. So to increase your self – esteem Aim enjoy more and appreciate your effort rather than achievement and never associate your self – worth by what you do. We are worth for what we are and never for what we do.

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A big hug,

Elias Berntsson

(Source: Bernardo Stamateas)