Sometimes children blame their parents for what they are today because of them, the emotional deprivation they consider that they caused, the difficulties, the uncertainties and even possible traumas suffering. At that time they not yet realize that their parents have responded by how they in turn were raised by their parents in the middle of each of their strengths and weaknesses. Evidently they have done the best they have managed to do according to the knowledge and resources that have been provided at all times. So why judge?
Without their having been intended, it may for example, you have overprotected much or else you have given too much freedom leaving adrift; you may have consented to giving too many things and consequently has resulted in you the difficulty to accept a “no” when life for some reason gives you that answer, and the difficulty tolerating frustration. You may perhaps have deprived you so much you’ve grown up with the idea that everything is too hard to get or that you are not worthy enough to enjoy the fulfillment of your desires. You might have spent too much time to acapararte get all your spaces and some have left you place yourself so that you solved on your own situations presented. It may instead have been too stiff and hard with you, you have missed affection, etc.
As can be seen, no behavioral extreme is healthy, nor presented in excess or the speaker for his absence, which brings us to try to maintain balance or balance in everything we do and we emit from our being . Let ‘s be increasingly aware of this, whether our parents have taken into account or not. Now that we are adults, we ourselves corresponds fully take charge of our lives by making us what we are creating every moment from our thoughts and our emotions. Leave the past in the proper place: behind as something that already happened and what we can not go back. Yes, we thank all the good and the not so good that we could live in our childhood beside those who raised us as they could. Even, we can thank the unpleasant and difficult situations we have lived with our parents since it is precisely there where the life lesson becomes much more enriching and meaningful. “Now, now it happened, and it happened thanks all for my good work” (repeated as many times as necessary to feel from your heart). When you do with will, with every intention and consciousness, there comes a time when compassion and love begin to occupy or replace the place of fear, resentment and pain.
I invite you to take pen to paper and start writing all the emotions that your parents wake you today. Be as honest as you can about yourself and ask for that or those memories that you most have marked your childhood in your relationship with them. No more hide and hold back because sooner or later appear, recognize them without resistance and accept what they mean to you. Love them because they are part of your life story. To release them and let them go first need to love in freedom, free from prejudice and this covers everyone and everything, including memories, situations and experiences. Kinds of experiences that have filled you with joy, follow them feeding and they have filled you with sinsabor, accept them as they are and try to see what may have come into your life and what learning you leave in the midst of apparent darkness .
Then allow yourself to feel those emotions with all the intensity that they contain. Check again, because sometimes you may think there is nothing to heal your relationship with your parents when the truth is that yes, what happens is that sometimes the experiences are so painful that as a defense mechanism is suppressed paradoxically, so they are taking more strength in being.
In order to make these processes of healing it is not to stay stuck in the past, but precisely in order to move forward in life without “much weight on it.”
So, you put yourself in front of what you generate pain, you accept it and then you let it go where it came, being also necessary to visualize or imagine him well with all the details and deep breathe several times. Then it allows all the love in your heart with the feeling of compassion and forgiveness will flow naturally from within (never force). At the right moment, when you are ready, you will experience and a wonderful feeling of peace you will shelter.
You can not deny that our parents or guardians or primary caregivers have significantly influenced the foundation of our personality for having represented our first model, more does not determine what we seek to be from now on. The positive change is always possible for those who believe in it, for those who have been learning to see beyond the routine, for those who have discovered the meaning of life has to do with evolution in love, grow, learn and be happy, which means among other things, heal our relationships with ourselves and with others.