How many times have you seen someone get angry a disproportionate way to something unimportant, as it might serve you the wrong sandwich, or getting caught by a red light of a traffic light?

Here’s another question: how many times have you been you that person? Let’s be honest, no one is innocent of everything in it.

Why do we get that way sometimes?

We all carry a significant amount of accumulated tension, much of it lurking lurking beneath our conscious state. An overreaction to a minor drawback, usually no connection with the situation itself at all; if not something much deeper.

Let me show you two scenarios:

A. Suppose you had a very hard childhood. Your parents did not support, the love of your life left you, never could take the job of your dreams, and your friends betrayed you.

Now life is boring and overwhelmingly stressful daily. One morning, on my way to work, the girl in the bar puts you milk and cream in coffee instead of skim milk How react?

B. Suppose you had everything in this life. Your parents did the best they could, you learn from your mistakes, and betrayals in your life you have someone stronger and more empathetic. You have to live, to eat, to drink, and have good health. You have great friends around you, ideas and projects, important people you are leading towards improving your quality of life. And one morning, as you head to work, the girl in the bar puts you milk and cream in coffee, skim milk instead, how reactionary?

What I am is that the reaction is not coffee but the lens through which we see reality. This is the story we tell ourselves about “life”.

If we are grateful, small errors are not a problem at all. We’ll drink coffee happy anyway, and enjoy as a little break from our routine. However, if we see reality as if the whole world is there for hassling, the girl in the bar becomes part of the cruel plot that conspires to make our life more difficult.

There is something you may have not yet considered. Possibly the bar girl either has reached his dream job also feel exploited, which also has been betrayed by those close to her, to stay up late caring for his grandmother who is sick, and made a mistake in the coffee you asked precisely deprived of sleep. Maybe she needs someone who will encourage you more than us right now.

The good news? That you can be who does it. But first you have to feel those good vibrations before being able to see brimmed with them, and so begin to be contagious.

This is an exercise to help loosen decades of continuous stress and pain:

1. Today, at the end of the day, aside some time to relax alone.

2. Be sure to find a place where you feel safe where you can not be interrupted and do not feel judged by anyone.

3. Grab a pencil and paper.

4. Now make a list of all those who have hurt you throughout your entire life. Think of all you have done anyone who did you think unfair and made you feel bad. Step back in time as much as possible, and begins to target names. Take the time you need, and make sure you do not skip anything.

5. Now forgive everyone.

6. Think of each of these individuals and wish them the best in life. You have to understand that the only way that you have been hurt, is receivables that are themselves in the wrong place.

7. Hopes to find peace.

8. Leave out all the pent-up emotions. Weep, if you want. We spend too much trying to look strong before the world time, repressing all our pain, and this is what makes people encasillemos trifles. Tears cleanse the ego and help you feel like new again.

Once you’re done, crinkle paper, and throw it allows currently represent a kind of “closing time”. A moment to move towards what life has in store for you next.

A hug,

Elias Berntsson

(Source: Jordan Phoenix – www.mindbodygreen.com)