In conversations often arise positive or negative comments about others from perceptions that have each. You can be whoever you comment on the other or the other comment on you. When this occurs in an open, honest, respectful or in front of you, usually you would have no problem right? But if they do so contemptuous and your back chances are you will not like, even, until you get to feel very upset when for example, have said something you kept secret, something personal or something lower your “good” image, all this of course without your consent.
So what can you do? If this is something that for you is not important or think that is related to a not very relevant issue in your life, then just do ignore, as if you had not heard him say anything about you, not worth losing the time in low transcendence. If instead, deals with an aspect that is particularly decisive or significant influence on your life (yourself evaluarás the degree of importance) then I advise you to follow these suggestions:
First of all, go straight to the source whence came the information, avoid talking with other people or with those who are not very involved, as this may create further confusion, misunderstandings in communication and obstacles assertive relationship management interpersonal. See and be sure that either the person is going to talk really who has made you look “bad”.
Second, look for a moment that you sit in quiet, unhurried time and suspect that the other person also is to talk to her. Fill yourself with serenity, understanding, but security and firmness at the same time to tell you’ve noticed that he has made improper comments about you. Enumérale which have been each of these comments and let him clear that she considers whether that’s true or not, as well as positive or negative, must respect your privacy and you also do it with her. Also, it is convenient to remind that everyone is made, damaged or improve their own image through their own actions without the words outsider makes on oneself and trying to do shaming.
Third, if that person accepts your position and somehow shows that he regrets what he has done, then ask them to henceforth refrain from such comments about you, which you do not really define, but her herself and her need to judge. Then tiéndele hand or by a kind gesture thank him for his new attitude and presto! do not continue to digress on the subject. Leave it as an experience of many that you had to find the education that you may have to leave.
If , however, the person balks at your position and still clinging to the idea that she is the one who is right or who simply remain in their behavior and not interested in the effect it has on you his words then … Do not dwell and relax !, at least you tried; but not worth going into meaninglessness little discussions with someone who has internalized the sense of responsibility in handling information, respect and human values. Just stay away from that person and you know for next time who would trust or not your private affairs.
The situation may be, nothing steal happiness and inner peace. Keep in mind that you are much more than an idea someone you form through another, even’re much more than the idea that someone forms of you being you and knowing you directly in person. At the bottom of your heart you know who you are (no better than you to know), you know what you’ve spent, by the experiences why you’ve been through with your whole life story and your present moment, so what else say or think is just that: your word or your thinking that often is far from reality.
Still, at all times, circumstances and place, love yourself. Even being aware of your successes or difficulties, love yourself; You can recognize your mistakes, but love yourself, nothing that happens can make you less worthy of your own love. Recognize your weaknesses but you stay not focused on them rather focus on each of the features you like best in your way of being, not hide, however, make them known through your words, thoughts, feelings and actions.
However, considering the above do you really think they made you look bad ?, not rather that or those people if they made themselves look bad?
Perhaps once this is not perceived in this way, but if you look closely, the feeling is (consciously or unconsciously) when you’re next to someone who refers negatively to someone else and behind them is that that person who criticizes not inspire enough confidence, transparency, much less a positive energy. Today you can speak ill of another, tomorrow speak ill of you, today speak ill of those who barely knows, tomorrow also speak ill of calling her “friends” and so on. None of this can be aligned with both love or happiness. So if today those people are apparently surrounded by many others, basically live a great loneliness that intimacy or affection in his being not have cultivated.
Pray for such people, wish them to find a better way and move on with yours. Alineándote continues as far as possible only with everything that brings comfort to your life. Cheer up!